it's some spoof text

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i have some spoof text here,,
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General and New Soldier

A man recently appointed general in the army was sitting in his new office when a new soldier walked in. Wishing to impress the new soldier, the general picked up the telephone and said, “Yes, Mr. President. I’m glad you like my suggestions. I’ll come by and give you a more detailed report at the White House a little later this week.” After hanging up the telephone the general asked, “Now, soldier, what can I do for you?”
“Nothing much, sir,” said the soldier. I just came in to connect your telephone.”

Potato Farmer

Potato farmer was sent to to prison just at time when he should have been digging the ground for planting the new crop of potatoes. He knew that his wife would not be strong enough to do the digging by herself, but that she could manage to do the planting, and he also knew that he did not have any friends or neighbors who would be willing to do the digging for him. So he wrote a letter to his wife which said “Please do not dig the potato field. I hide the money and the gun there.”
Ten days later, he got a letter from his wife. It said, “I think somebody is reading your letter before they go out of prison. Some policeman arrived here two days ago and dug up the whole field. What shall I do now?”
The prisoner wrote back at once. “Plant the potatoes, of course!”

The Clever Chauffer

There’s a story about how Albert Enstein was traveling to universities in a chauffer-driven car, delivering tectures on his theory if relativity.
One day while in transit, the chauffer remarked, “Dr. Einstein, I’ve heard you deliver that lecture about 30 times. I know it by heart ang bet I should give it myself.”
“Well, I’ll give you the chance, “said Einstein, “They don’t know me at the next school, so when we get there I’ll put on your cap, and you introduce yourself as and give the lecture.”
The chauffer delivered Einstein’s lecture flawlessly. When he finished, he started to leave, but one of the proffesors stopped him and asked a complex question filled with mathematical equations and formulas. The chauffer thought fast.
“The solution to that problem is so simple,” he said, “I’m surprise you have to ask me. In fact, to show you just how simple it is, I’m going to ask my chauffer to come up here and answer your question.”